emphasisonthehomo:

Oh hay so, nifty tip for dealing w/ invasive irrational thoughts. 

Pretend Spock is standing by your shoulder telling you it’s “illogical” or some shit. 

Getting invasive thoughts that everyone you know secretly hates you? Spock is there to be all “That is statistically improbable Captain, several of your friends have told you many times that they enjoy your company.” 

Paranoid that you’re going to get hit by a car every time you walk by a road? Spock is walking beside you, calmly explaining that “You are mostly like not going to be hit by a car. You’re walking on the sidewalk, and there are no cars in sight.” 

Is someone not messaging you back right away, and part of you is terrified that they’re dead in a ditch somewhere? Spock is there to be all “Captain, your friend is currently at work. They’re probably helping a customer, not dead.” 

Seriously, I spend a lot of time pretending that Spock is blandly telling me why all of my irrational, invasive, and paranoid thoughts probably aren’t true. 

“Spock, someone’s watching me.” 

“Captain, you are alone in your apartment. Everything is fine.”